Future traffic cops rape, behead prisoners in jail

Wikileak: US troops rape, behead Iraqi detainees

Your gubmint loves you...to death.

Lesbian pedophile Fatherland Security director refuses stripsearch by naked body scanner

Naked Body scanners unveiled at JFK Airport; Homeland Security Sect. Janet Napolitano doesn't volunteer

by George Orwell
Propaganda Placement News

Airline passengers might want to consider a trip to the gym before heading to the airport now that high-tech body scanners have been unveiled at Kennedy Airport.

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano yesterday hailed them as an important breakthrough for airport security and the fight against terrorism.

Yet when it came to testing the devices - which produce chalky, naked X-ray images of passengers - she turned the floor over to some brave volunteers.

"These machines represent an important way to stay ahead of the ever-evolving threat that faces the aviation industry," Napolitano said.

About 300 of the Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) machines are operational already at 62 airports across the country, and 450 will be in place by the end of the year, officials said.

Poll Results

Do you approve of the introduction of body scanners at the nation's airports?

Yes! They will improve security. 16%
No! They're an invasion of privacy! 80%
I'm not sure. 4%

JFK will have a "substantial" number, but officials would not reveal the exact figure.

Machines will be installed at Newark and LaGuardia airports within weeks.

The machines work by projecting low-level X-ray [actually deadly gamma ray] beams at the passenger's body to produce an image.

Any nonmetal objects hidden on the passenger's body that wouldn't be detected by the old-style scanners are easily spotted.

Going through one is optional for all travelers, but Napolitano hoped to ease any fears that airport staff would use them to leer at passengers.

"Those who read the images are not actually physically at the gate, so they cannot associate an image with an individual person at all," she said.

"And the machines are set so that no image is retained." [but all images can be sent over the internet and stored forever, hahahahaha]

Biker Gang Scum

Biker gang graffiti at my ghetto ally mocking my helmet sticker, after my run in with a gangbanger

by The Dragonater

Yesterday, I witnessed three separate armed robberies by biker gangs, in a 10 minute period. I didn't stop to render aid to the victims, since I didn't want to get killed. I didn't dial 9/11, since I didn't want to get involved. Everyone else did the same as me, just sped by the robberies thinking, "Thank God it wasn't me."


Video of this biker gang's armed robbery of The Dragonater

I was previously robbed by this biker gang, but I successfully fought off the mugger, caught on video tape.


View out my back door in Da Hood, building gutted by rival biker gang kingpin who calls himself Hutch

Maybe I should stop frequenting locations where biker gangs congregate, or move to a nicer neighborhood? Economy must be getting worse, since armed robberies are now a daily occurance in this city. This same biker gang was in the news for the large number of robberies, assaults, kidnappings, rapes and murders carried out by its gangmembers.


Biker gang sign at my backdoor ally after the biker gang stole my car

This is the same rough neighborhood (Da Hood) where this same biker gang stole my car. I filed criminal charges against the gang members, but they got lawyered up and escaped arrest. Gangsters know how to beat The System. Never did get my car back. This cartheft was retaliation for my investigation of the murder of one of the biker gangbangers, and the transcript of the arrest of the biker kingpin.


My home is the penthouse on the left

This is also the same Hood were my home was nearly incinerated by towering inferno. The biker gang threatened to kidnap me if I gave police my photos taken of the arsonist setting the fire, while holding a flame in his hand with a maniacal look on his face. Insurance fraud is a racket by this biker gang. Have you ever run into a towering inferno? I have.


Biker gang sign at my backdoor ally after theft of my car

Do I live in L.A, Miamai or Sturgis? Nope, just a little town called Knoxvile Tennessee. God damn those biker scum!


Reckless gangbanger crashed into parked car, a popular pasttime for this biker gang

THE DRAGONATER WINS IN TRAFFIC COURT AT DEALS GAP, RAISES SPEED LIMIT TO 65 MPH ON THE DRAGON - NOLLE PROSEQUI BY BLOUNT COUNTY ATTORNEY GENERAL. NO TESTIMONY, HEARING NOR TRIAL WHATSOEVER. 60 MPH SPEEDING TICKET DISMISSED WITH PREJUDICE, COSTS PAID BY THE STATE, IN BLOUNT COUNTY GENERAL SESSIONS COURT WITH JUDGE BREWER. THP TROOPER RANDALL HUCKEBY ADMITTED ON VIDEOTAPE DURING TRAFFIC STOP THAT ALL SPEEDING TICKETS NORTHBOUND ON US129 AT MILE MARKER 0.5 ARE FEDERAL JURISDICTION, NOT STATE JURISDICTION (VIDEO BY THE DRAGONATER). HUCKEBY WAS ALSO CAUGHT ON VIDEO SPEEDING AT 60 MPH ON THE DRAGON, WITHOUT THE MANDATORY EMERGENCY LIGHTS AND SIREN REQUIRED FOR IMMUNITY FROM PROSECUTION (VIDEO BY THE DRAGONATER). TDOT ADMITTED IN WRITING THAT THE MANDATORY TRAFFIC ENGINEERING SURVEY SPEED AUDIT WAS NEVER PERFORMED, IN VIOLATION OF TN CODE, THUS THE POSTED 30 MPH SPEED LIMIT ON THE DRAGON REVERTS TO THE DEFAULT 65 MPH IN TN CODE. THE DRAGONATER ALSO MADE VIDEO OF TROOPER HUCKEBY SPEEDING UP TO 60 MPH ON THE DRAGON IN A 30 MPH ZONE, WITHOUT MANDATORY EMERGENCY LIGHTS NOR SIREN, IN VIOLATION OF TN CODE, AND PERJURY IN HIS PERSONNEL FILE, WHICH SHOWED HIS $100,000+ SALARY. 2007 TDOT SAFETY AUDIT REPORT CONFESSED THAT THP'S JOB IS TO BAN ALL COMMERCIAL BUSINESSES ON THE DRAGON, SO THP TICKETS INCREASED 11,400% IN BLOUNT COUNTY. THP'S STALKER RADAR OPERATOR MANUAL CONFESSED THAT RADAR CANNOT MEASURE THE SPEED OF VEHICLES WITHIN 18 MPH OF ACTUAL SPEED. WATCH THIS SPACE FOR FULL EVIDENCE FILE. UPDATE 7 MARCH 2011

So that's why Harley fired Buell...

...to sign him to a confidentiality agreement and prevent his testimony at a product liability trial.

True-Track

WHY DOES MY HARLEY-DAVIDSON® RUBBER MOUNTED MOTORCYCLE WEAVE, WOBBLE and REARSTEER™?

Erik Buell, teaches in patent No. 4,776,423 and No. 6,213,240 that Vibration Isolated Motorcycles MUST HAVE at least 3 stabilizer links connecting the power train unit to the frame to

PREVENT LATERAL INSTABILITY!

Harley-Davidson®, however, manufactures the Dyna with 1 stabilizer link, the FXR with 2 stabilizer links, the Touring Models (baggers) - 2 stabilizer links and the V-ROD with 1 stabilizer link CONTRARY TO THEIR PATENT. Only the BUELL and 2004 and later rubber mount Sportsters have 3 STABLIZER LINKS!

TRUE-TRACK™ (PATENTED)

a suspension stabilization device, acts to mitigate instability on vibration isolated motorcycles manufactured with LESS THAN 3 STABILIZER LINKS!

You felt that twitch or what you thought was a low tire before. The Dealer replied, "Never heard of that problem before". BULL!

Little did I know what my Sunday afternoon ride had in store for me. Cruising through the absolutely beautiful forest with gentle curves was ecstasy. Sunlight shafts were breaking through the trees and the smell of the pines, wow. I get goose bumps thinking about it. I was really into it.

So, I grabbed a handful and setup for the next sweeper, leaned it over a few degrees, rolled on the throttle and accelerated through until all HELL BROKE LOOSE. The rear wheel started to weave then wobble and actually steer the bike in a different direction than the front! The back of the bike started heading for the guardrail. I tried to correct with body English and push the handle bar to pull out of the inevitable. The back of the bike slid sideways first.The right saddlebag banged hard against the guard rail at about 60-65 miles per hour. Fortunately I didn't go down, but managed to turn into the guard rail and scrape off some speed until I straightened out. It scared the sh*t out of me, I had to use Handy Wipes later and clean up.

NO MAS! NO MAS! To make a long story short I came up with a solution that cured the "REARSTEER™", when the swing arm pivot mounts compress or move. A caged bracket that attaches to the bottom of a Dresser or Road King oil pan transmission (1993-2010), which mounts an isolated stabilizer link connected to a frame bracket. The rear tire now follows the front without changing direction. I call the device "TRUE-TRACK™" (PATENTED). It keeps the swing arm pivot anchored in position and therefore stable.

Oh, I forgot to mention. My contact with the guard rail cost me $2100.00 a new front fender, right fork leg (chrome gouged) replacement, new fairing cap, right floor board, scratched right tank, scrapes on the right bag, hardware and repaint. Now that does not include the trick $400.00 shocks I installed before to try and eliminate the wobbling at the rear. "TRUE-TRACK™" is simply cheap insurance for the inevitable!

The "TRUE-TRACK™" (PATENTED) kit consists of four mounting brackets, CNC machined from an 11 pound solid block of "BALLISTIC BILLET™" aluminum, adjustable stabilizer link, all stainless steel mounting hardware and installation instructions . . . available and always in stock!

See also:

Glide Pro solid motor mounts - Safety and performance are very important at Glide-Pro, it’s always a top priority with Jake Ore, the President and Designer of the Glide Pro Stabilizing System. Jake has maintained an FAA airframe and power plant license for the past 25 years and has held an FAA Inspector Authorization for the last 20. So he demands that the best materials, and workmanship go into each and every product he works on. Glide Pro is no exception. Jake’s experience encompasses building high performance composite aircraft, fabricating fibreglass and carbon fiber, and thorough aircraft maintenance, including sheet metal repairs and engine overhauls. After being very disappointed in his `03 Road King, Jake went to work and Glide-Pro was born. Anyone who has experienced the high speed wobbles, also known as tank slap, will want the Glide-Pro Stabilizing System on their bike. Glide-Pro is made in America and is both domestic and international patent pending. This product has been personally tested by Jake and many other avid riders for the past five years, with over 50,000 test miles accomplished before bringing it to the public. If you want to make your touring bike handle the way it should, you need the Glide Pro Stabilizing System.

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Emotional start to trial in lawsuit blaming Harley for crash

October 20, 2010

Jim McMahon, a longtime Chicago firefighter and motorcycle enthusiast, broke down twice today as he testified in a Cook County courtroom about being paralyzed from the chest down in a motorcycle crash.

He could use only his thumbs to wipe away the tears.

McMahon, 53, is suing Harley-Davidson, claiming the company produced a faulty motorcycle that led to his 2004 crash on an Arizona interstate. A resident of Chicago's Mount Greenwood neighborhood, McMahon requires a wheelchair and around-the-clock care.

In his opening statement, McMahon's attorney, Scott Hooper, said his client's bike "weaved and wobbled" before it crashed.

"A weaving and wobbling motorcycle is not a safe motorcycle," Hooper said. "They sold it knowing there's a problem with it and knowing there's a way to fix it."

McMahon's motorcycle, a 2004 black and cobalt blue Screamin' Eagle Electraglide, sat in the middle of the Daley Center courtroom. The bike's left side was mangled and grass remained lodged in the wheel.

Many jurors stood up to get a better look when Hooper pointed to the bike and said that some critical bolts were loose before the crash.

Mark Kircher, representing Harley-Davidson, said the crash was caused by driver error, not a mechanical defect.

"A moment of inattention caused him to leave the road," Kircher said. "When the road turned, he didn't."

McMahon bought his motorcycle on New Year's Eve 2003. At the time, he was a lieutenant with the Chicago Fire Department.

On March 29, 2004, McMahon and some friends, many of them fellow firefighters, were riding near Benson, Ariz. One rider signaled he needed gas and McMahon accelerated to the front of the group to alert others to the planned exit.

That's when McMahon said the motorcycle, which had only about 900 miles on it, began shaking and wobbling. When he tried to slow down, he said he felt it getting worse, so he sped up.

"I didn't know what was happening," McMahon said. "I was trying to hang on for my life."

After he crashed, he was unconscious and without a pulse. Doctors placed him in a medically induced coma.

On Wednesday attorneys from both sides tried to use product tests done by Harley-Davidson to support their arguments. Kircher said Harley motorcycles underwent "extensive, rigorous" testing that proves they are safe. Hooper said company tests show a pattern of problems similar to the one experienced by McMahon.

Hooper said he is representing three other clients with similar issues with their motorcycles, and that McMahon's case is the first to go to trial.

-- Duaa Eldeib

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Harley-Davidson Class Action Lawsuit Cases

Submitted by too many people to thank individually other than here!

High-Speed Wobble Defined

Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein, LLP represents motorcyclists against Harley-Davidson in personal injury lawsuits allegedly as a result of what are commonly referred to as "high-speed wobble" (or "tank-slapper") accidents involving Harley-Davidson motorcycles. High speed wobble motorcycle accidents typically involve shaking or instability in the front end of the motorcycle. In certain cases, the front wheel can thrash from side to side, something bikers refer to as a "tank slapper" because the handlebars suddenly seem intent on battering the fuel tank into submission, causing the driver to lose control of the vehicle.

Harley Cycles and High Speed Wobble

On September 13, 2002, the Raleigh, North Carolina News and Observer reported that a local police officer had l ost control of his Harley-Davidson motorcycle after its front wheel began to wobble as he was passing a tractor-trailer at 85 mph, and died. A spokesman for Harley's corporate office said the company "is not aware of any issues with any of our motorcycles at this time."

The News and Observer, however, stated that other sources noted stability problems with the FLH series of Harley-Davidson, also known as the Electra Glide, Road King and Ultra Classic, which are widely used by law enforcement officers nationwide. "A Harley, when you get it to high speed, has what you call a high-speed wobble," Sgt. R.N. Stallings of the North Carolina Highway Patrol was quoted as stating. In an otherwise glowing article in 1999, Motorcycle Consumer News described "an oscillation in the chassis that keeps the bike from feeling steady, both while cornering and at elevated speeds." The writer attributed the problem to an offset between the front and rear tires [see video below]. Riders of Harley motorcycles who suffered injuries allegedly due to high speed wobble and would like to learn more about their legal rights, please click here to contact an attorney at Lieff Cabraser. All messages and your personal information will be held strictly confidential.

About Lieff Cabraser

We are a national law firm with offices in San Francisco, California, New York, New York, Washington, D.C. and Nashville, Tennessee.

We are recognized for our successful prosecution of individual and class action lawsuits involving personal injuries and property damage due to defective products, ranging from faulty building and home products to faulty cars, tires and computer devices. Our clients in these cases have come from across America, including persons living in Alaska, Alab! ama, Arka nsas, Arizona, Californi a, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Maryland, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana, North Carolina, North Dakota, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Vermont, Washington, Wisconsin, West Virginia and Wyoming.

Currently, we are playing a leading role in litigation against Firestone and Ford Motor Company based on allegations that the companies failed to disclose risks of tire tread separation associated with the Firestone tires and the susceptibility for rollover accidents of the Ford Explorer.

Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein, LLP, Announces that Wisconsin Court of Appeals
Reinstates Consumer Fraud Class Action Against Harley-Davidson

MILWAUKEE--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Jan. 14, 2003--

An Estimated One Hundred Thousand 1999 and Early-2000 Model Harley Motorcycles Are Equipped with Allegedly Defective Engines Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein, LLP, plaintiff's co-counsel in Tietsworth, et al. v. Harley-Davidson, Inc., and Harley-Davidson Motor Company, a consumer fraud class action lawsuit, announced that in a unanimous decision the Wisconsin Court of Appeals today reversed the trial court's dismissal of the lawsuit, finding that plaintiffs had properly alleged the necessary elements of claims under the Wisconsin Deceptive Trade Practices Act and for common law fraudulent concealment.

"We are gratified that the Court of Appeals recognized the merits of our case, and thrilled that our clients and all of the other consumers who bought and ride these motorcycles will have their day in court, and a chance to show that they got something less than what they paid for," commented Lieff Cabraser partner Lisa J. Leebove. "This is a tremendous victory for consumers. Now,
we can move this case forward toward what we hope will be a successful resolution for our clients and the class."

The lawsuit was brought by California resident Steven C. Tietsworth, Wisconsin resident David Bratz and three other residents of Wisconsin. All are Harley-Davidson motorcycle owners with 1999 or early-2000 models equipped with Twin Cam 88 or Twin Cam 88B (together "TC-88") engines. Plaintiffs allege that the TC-88 engine was defectively designed and potentially dangerous due to the propensity for premature cam failure, which causes sudden and total engine failure. This failure could allegedly result in economic and physical injuries, including out-of-pocket repair costs, property damages, death or serious injury. Plaintiffs allege that Harley-Davidson knew and knows about the defect in the engines, and even sells a $500.00 "fix kit" designed to remedy the problem with the engines. The Court of Appeals held that Wisconsin law does not require Harley-Davidson owners to wait until their engines fail before they can bring claims for fraud or deceptive trade practices. The Court of Appeals held that it was sufficient that plaintiffs alleged that they and class members either would not have purchased the defective motorcycles if Harley-Davidson had not concealed from them and the public the defect, or that they would have paid less for the motorcycles had Harley-Davidson disclosed the alleged defect.


TIETSWORTH v. HARLEY DAVIDSON INC

It is estimated that over 100,000 model year 1999 and early-2000 Harley-Davidson motorcycles were sold with the allegedly defective TC-88 engine. These motorcycles include the Dyna Glide series (including the FXDX Dyna Super Glide Sport, FXD Dyna Super Glide, FXDL Dyan Low Rider, and FXDS-Conv Dyna Convertible), the FL Touring series (including the FLHT Electra Glide Standard, the FLHTC/FLHTCI Electra Glide Classic, the FLHTCUI Ultra Class Electa Glide, the FLHRCI Road King Classic, and the FLTR/FLTRI Road glide), and the Softtail series models.

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WHEEL OFFSET IS LIKE TRYING TO LEAN A SEGWAY

The Dragonater discovered a 1/2-inch offset between front and rear wheels on a Triumph Daytona 600, which apparently is a rampant design defect in many sportbikes. The rear wheel is offset to the right of the front wheel. This makes the bike feel harder to lean in right turns.

Ken Wheeler at Wheeler Performance checked the suspension sag, shock settings, spring rate, and rear wheel alignment. There is no way to adjust wheel offset. But I bet Yoshi Suzuki knows how.

Eating shit for brains in Knoxvile

2pm today at the SunsFear



Knoxville Zombie Walk and Horror Film Fest 2010





Too bad the brains in Ktown are shriveled and dried up. Not very nutritious, full of radioactive toxic waste, fluoride, mercury, aluminum and barium chemtrails, Ktrans smoke, and dozens of other killer air pollutants. But of course the 170,000 zombies in Knoxville don't care.

And jack-o-lanterns are for 80-million dead babies. Enjoy your Halloween.

How to spend $1,000 per minute on the Dragon

Rural Metro taxi rides are $5,000, Lifestar flights are $18,500...

MAJOR ACCIDENT

10/18/10 10:47 (MARYVILLE FIRE/RES - 154.355) RURAL/METRO M-1 HAS COME ACROSS A MOTORCYCLE CRASH WITH TWO TRAUMA PATIENTS, LIFESTAR ON SOUTH-BOUND [TEN021]

MAJOR ACCIDENT

10/17/10 15:47 (ALCOA FIRE-RURAL/MET - 453.750) SINGLE VEHICLE ROLLOVER INJURY CRASH. ONE CAR ON ITS TOP WITH DRIVER TRAPPED [TEN021]

1 ALARM FIRE

10/14/10 20:16 (LOUISVILLE - 453.1000) BCFD ON SCENE WORKING RESIDENTIAL STRUCTURE FIRE. 1 VICTIM REMOVED FROM THE STRUCTURE CPR IN PROG. [TEN014]

From the Incident Page Network at Blount County Tennessee Live Audio Feed

THP closes US129 for 6 months after deadly crash

THE DRAGONATER WINS IN TRAFFIC COURT AT DEALS GAP, RAISES SPEED LIMIT TO 65 MPH ON THE DRAGON - NOLLE PROSEQUI BY BLOUNT COUNTY ATTORNEY GENERAL. NO TESTIMONY, HEARING NOR TRIAL WHATSOEVER. 60 MPH SPEEDING TICKET DISMISSED WITH PREJUDICE, COSTS PAID BY THE STATE, IN BLOUNT COUNTY GENERAL SESSIONS COURT WITH JUDGE BREWER. THP TROOPER RANDALL HUCKEBY ADMITTED ON VIDEOTAPE DURING TRAFFIC STOP THAT ALL SPEEDING TICKETS NORTHBOUND ON US129 AT MILE MARKER 0.5 ARE FEDERAL JURISDICTION, NOT STATE JURISDICTION (VIDEO BY THE DRAGONATER). HUCKEBY WAS ALSO CAUGHT ON VIDEO SPEEDING AT 60 MPH ON THE DRAGON, WITHOUT THE MANDATORY EMERGENCY LIGHTS AND SIREN REQUIRED FOR IMMUNITY FROM PROSECUTION (VIDEO BY THE DRAGONATER). TDOT ADMITTED IN WRITING THAT THE MANDATORY TRAFFIC ENGINEERING SURVEY SPEED AUDIT WAS NEVER PERFORMED, IN VIOLATION OF TN CODE, THUS THE POSTED 30 MPH SPEED LIMIT ON THE DRAGON REVERTS TO THE DEFAULT 65 MPH IN TN CODE. THE DRAGONATER ALSO MADE VIDEO OF TROOPER HUCKEBY SPEEDING UP TO 60 MPH ON THE DRAGON IN A 30 MPH ZONE, WITHOUT MANDATORY EMERGENCY LIGHTS NOR SIREN, IN VIOLATION OF TN CODE, AND PERJURY IN HIS PERSONNEL FILE, WHICH SHOWED HIS $100,000+ SALARY. 2007 TDOT SAFETY AUDIT REPORT CONFESSED THAT THP'S JOB IS TO BAN ALL COMMERCIAL BUSINESSES ON THE DRAGON, SO THP TICKETS INCREASED 11,400% IN BLOUNT COUNTY. THP'S STALKER RADAR OPERATOR MANUAL CONFESSED THAT RADAR CANNOT MEASURE THE SPEED OF VEHICLES WITHIN 18 MPH OF ACTUAL SPEED. WATCH THIS SPACE FOR FULL EVIDENCE FILE. UPDATE 7 MARCH 2011

Deadly car wreck on Ill Killya Highway

by John Swinton
WAAR TV

ALCOA, TENN. - A three-car intentional accident left one Knoxville woman dead.

"Another career criminal bites the dust," said Capt. Dick Masterbaiter of the Tennessee Highway Patrol. "No sane person drives on US129 unless they're a Renegade with a deathwish."

It happened on Ill Killya Highway just 32 miles from the Dragon on Saturday.

Alcoa police officers said the criminal car driver, speeding at 25 mph above the new 30 mph limit, was killed as the result of the obviously premeditated accident.

Another criminal car driver, aged 41 from Knoxville, was speeding at 35 mph northbound when he started merging into the right lane.

The criminal's Kidnappyvan sideswiped a speeding car being driven by a third criminal, which caused her to veer off the road.

The second criminal then hit the first criminal's Japsubishi Ricaroni, which had just stopped speeding and was parked at a new red-light camera on the Carl Koella Kill A Biker Get A Memorial Highway. The dead criminal was pronounced dead at the scene of the crime spree.

After a four hour rescue, the deceased criminal was taken by Rural Metro Taxi Service to Blount Memorial Death Camp, where the corpse was butchered for $500,000 in body parts. Dr. Frank N. Fartir, head of the Obamacare Emergency Organ Harvest Unit, said, "It's an early Christmas this year. I'll be able to buy that 100-foot SeaRay after all."

APD cited the surviving criminals for "speeding," "failing to maintain lane" and "habitual motor offender". THP cited the deceased criminal with "illegal parking" at a red light.

"The third criminal and his criminal passenger suffered no injuries, unfortunately, so I won't get any more overtime," said Capt. Masterbaiter. "How the Hell am I going to pay three alimony checks? That 700-ticket quota don't cut it."

The second and third criminals, and the criminal passenger, were wearing crash belts, to aid and abet their speeding. The dead criminal was not wearing a crash belt, or it disconnected upon impact. "Good riddance," said Capt. Masterbaiter. "That's one less scumbag to arrest for the crime of driving. We never investigate defective vehicle design. That's above our I.Q. test scores."

Redflex refused to release photos of the crash scene, citing the Tennessee Reporters Shield Law and the Australian Constitution. "Thanks to our cameras, crashes have been reduced, capish," said Guido Gotti, vice president of Offshore Protection Services.

The investigation is ongoing into banning all car drivers in Tennessee. "Everybody knows cars are dangerous, and only criminals drive cars. Therefore we closed Ill Killya Highway for your own damn good," said Governor Don H. M. O. Whormedisin, while boarding his private jet on his fifth vacation paid by Redflex this year.


Contact John Swinton at slayerhater@waartv.com

Honda's gyro-controlled wheelie bike

DIY: Or build a gyro-controlled unicycle

Who says wheelies are dangerous?

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TENNESSEE PUBLIC ACTS, 2007 - PUBLIC CHAPTER NO. 308 - HOUSE BILL NO. 201

By Representatives Dean, Harry Brooks, Bass, Watson, Todd, Williams

Substituted for: Senate Bill No. 550

By Senator Bunch

AN ACT to amend Tennessee Code Annotated, Title 55, Chapter 10 and Title 55, Chapter 8, relative to reckless driving. BE IT ENACTED BY THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE STATE OF TENNESSEE: SECTION 1. Tennessee Code Annotated, Section 55-10-205, is amended by adding the following as new subsection (b) and by relettering the existing subsection (b) accordingly: (b) A person commits an offense of reckless driving who drives a motorcycle with the front tire raised off the ground in willful and wanton disregard for the safety of persons or property on any public street, highway, alley, parking lot, or driveway, or on the premises of any shopping center, trailer park, apartment house complex, or any other premises which are generally frequented by the public at large. Provided, the offense of reckless driving for driving a motorcycle with the front tire raised off the ground shall not be applicable to persons riding in a parade, at a speed not to exceed thirty (30) miles per hour, if the person is eighteen (18) years of age or older. SECTION 2. This act shall take effect July 1, 2007, the public welfare requiring it.

PASSED: May 14, 2007

APPROVED this 31st day of 2007

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TRANSLATION: "ESSENTIAL ELEMENT" MEANS YOU CAN WHEELIE ALL YOU WANT SO LONG AS YOU CONSIDER THE SAFETY OF OTHERS.

How to ride a wheelie at Unicycle.com